Happily Ever After....NOT!

Jasmine was a woman on a mission. clutching the latest Chanel catalogue, she breezed into Aladdin's study. "Aladdin! i just saw this LOVELY handbag in the catalogue i simply must have it! you can spare my say, a couple thousand dollars, cant you baby?"

Aladdin glared up from his papers. "Honey im WORKING just about now..." he started peevishly. Jasmine knew just how to handle him. "Oh come now," she cut him off in her sweetest, honeyed tone. "you're the Sultan of Baghdad and you can't even buy your wife a teensy Chanel bag." she pouted. Aladdin rolled his eyes. "Jazz, you have 174 bags in your closet. why do you need another one?!"

Jasmine was now annoyed. "all i have is 15 crocodile skin purses, 42 canvas totes, 31leather clutches, 58 bead-pouches and 26 messenger bags! is that all you expect me to live on?! how can i face the papparazzi again!? and anyway all my bags are SO last season. everyone knows metallic velour totes are IN now!" she thrust the catalogue in his face.

pushing the advertisment away Aladdin returned to the economic GDP. "No, dear, you can't have another one. anyway, if you really want something, ask Genie! he'll be glad to help you!" Jasmine rolled her perfectly mascara-ed eyes. "PUH-LEESE! he never gives me anything i want. he only gives me DIAPER BAGS," she stered meaningfully at her husband. "he says he awaits the day the Sultan produces an HEIR to the throne!"

Aladdin coloured. "Aw Jasmine i already said i don't want kids!" "Im not ASKING for kids! never liked the snotty brats either! what i AM asking for is a velour tote!" Jasmine almost yelled. Damn why was it so hard to get anything out of her husband.

Aladdin put down his pen. "No, Jasmine, i cannot buy you any more bags! i cannot afford to cater to your whimsical fancies any more! the country's funds are NOT for you to buy expensive Juicy Couture bags! furthermore i received a bill for MY credit card account, saying that i owed the company $4,726 for the 12 Dolce and Gabanna, Abercrombie and DKNY outfits and accessories that i did not buy! what is the meaning of this?!"

Jasmine chewed her bottom lip. "oh about that...i was about to tell you i borrowed your credit card because i saw this cute outfit and i....i would have told you!" she finished virtuously. Aladdin massaged his temples. "honey, i cannot have you buying these clothes and accessories in the country's name! im sorry but you leave me no choice. give me your credit cards and gift cards."

Jasmine blanched. "NO! baby don't do this to me!" Aladdin plucked her wallet from her fingers (she was holding it with the catalogue), neatly fishing out her cards. she shrieked and lurched forward to save them but too late, her hateful husband had snapped them in two.

Jasmine was still for a moment. then she retrieved the cards Aladdin had tossed in the bin before sitting down to work again. running her index finger over the jagged edges, a gleam came to her eyes. "RAJA!" she hollered for her pet tiger. old though he was, he still had a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. Aladdin began to shake. "Now. you are going to listen to me," Jasmine said.

the next day, a beaming Jasmine sauntered into Zara, ordering their most expensive pantsuit with what seemed to be a brand new credit card.

Happily Ever after...Or Not...

Cinderella adjusted her head-scarf. she repositioned the mop in her thin, calloused hands, blowing a strand of hair from her eyes. sigh. she'd thought that after moving to the Castle, she'd be free from chores and live on strawberries and cream. wrong. she was working harder than before.

Prince Charming lounged on a chaise lounge, his eyes glued to the telly. a packet of Doritos rested beneath the sofa, from which Charming would periodically fish a chip and pop it into his mouth.

Cinderella glared at him. lousy lout, what had she ever seen in him? "CHARMING" she barked, arms akimbo. Charming peered meekly up at his wife. this was not good. "Y-yess, Darling?" he wished she'd move a little, she was blocking the screen. but she didn't budge. "Charming have you cleared out the Castle store-house? i asked you to do that last week you know," Cinderella asked, her eyes glinting.

Charming gulped. "Um...you did? i-i don't recall! maybe later Darling, Liverpool is playing right now..." Cinderella cut him off. "its always "later"! you never do anything i ask you. i have to do EVERYTHING in this damn castle because you're too stingy to ever hire castle staff!" "well its not exactly my fault! the Castle budjet is too low and...." Charming whined.

Cinderella cut him off again. "excuses excuses! by the way, i heard you been seeing That Woman again!" Charming began to sweat. "well err...it IS my job! she's the Brazilian ambassador and its my duty to see her!" Cinderella rolled her eyes. "uh huh and im sure you see a lot or her too! wearing that skimpy outfit, it simply DISGUSTS me!"

Charming bristled. "Honey can we discuss this later? i really want to watch this match..." Cinderella snarled. "oh you want to watch TV, do you?"

-*-

according to the castle gardener, Prince Charming was later seen fishing a large plasma television out of the Castle moats.