Part 14

after much argument and chaos, the house is finally decorated. it looked great (although Emmett has insisted on plugging the lights into the Jeep's batteries when Carlisle wasn't looking).

then we go inside to decorate the Christmas tree. Esme sends Edward into the kitchen to make popcorn for popcorn strings (to twine around the tree). 3 minutes later, a loud popping sound is heard and pieces of popcorn come flying out of the kitchen. Edward's screams are heard clearly. "OH MY GOSH! ESME! HELP!" he hurtles out of the kitchen at vampire speed, his arms wrapped over his head. Bella rushes to his rescue. "oh Edward! you're supposed to cover the pot!" so we have to spend half an hour retrieving popcorn from every nook and cranny in the kitchen.

in the end we are gathered around the tree. "Bella and Joy," she addresses us. "we insist that you open our gifts here. so we can see if you like them." Bella looks flustered, she has had much experience with Alice's antics before. before we can protest, Alice shoves packages into everyone's hands. "look! i got presents for everyone!"

looking nervous, Carlisle carefully peels the wrapping paper off his gift. its a large mug. "Alice....im a vampire...i don't drink anything...with the exception of blood." "oh but Carlisle! it has Homer Simpson on the front! Homer reminds me of you...in a weird way..." "thank you Alice."

Esme receives a cookbook. "now you can cook for Bella and Joy!"

Jasper gets a jar of Prego tomato sauce. "it looks just like blood. so if you feel an urge to take a snap out of Bella or Joy, you can just drink this!"

Edward gets a ukelele. "your piano songs are so emo. they make you want to slash. and ukeleles can only sound bright and happy. so i reckon you can't go wrong."

Emmett gets a large stuffed lion. "to practise tackling instead of crushing Joy and Bella. pick on someone your own size."

Rosalie gets a goldfish. "it has practically no blood so it's safe! and anyway having a pet is fun. humans think so."

the rest of the presents are more normal. a book from Carlisle, a blue jacket from Esme (so i can wear it to school), Hedwig's Anthem from Edward (i've always wanted to play that song!), a "Save the Trees" shirt from Rosalie, spike nails from Jasper and a bag of chips from Emmett.

later, for the first time in my life, i am allowed into the Cullen's rooms upstairs. Jasper lets me borrow his Harry Potter books because he has the set. Edward's room overlooks a dense forest (*author's note: again, doesn't sound like Singapore. just pretend, ok?). "oooooh! are there babirusas and pangolins in there?" im quite excited. sightings of those are rare.

Jasper laughs. annoying person. "hmm! why don't you see for yourself?" with that Bella and i are tossed onto Edward and Jasper's back respectively. the crazy vampires start climbing the tallest of the raintrees. once up in the tree, Emmett and Rosalie join us.

i look down and immediately regret it. "OH MY GOSH! Jasper! if i fall and have to miss training i will KILL YOU!" feeling giddy from the height i clutch the nearest branch. the irritating vampires laugh. "chillax Joy. if you fall, we're fast enough to catch you before you hit the ground!" even bella looks quite calm. oh right. Edward's brought her here before.

feeling a lot better, i start scanning the ground for signs of wildlife. after half an hour though, having seen only a few speckled lizards, i start to feel rather disappointed. Jasper brings me back down.

after Esme gives me a few of the cookies, it is decided that the lights on the house be turned on and then i will be sent home (its about 7pm by now!). Carlisle flicks on the light's switch.

numerous bangs and pops are issued as the lights flare up and shatter their glass casing. Carlisle turns on Emmett. "EMMETT! WHERE DID YOU PLUG IN THE LIGHTS?!" he roars. Edward whispers, "i think you better go. come on, i'll drive you."

with a last glance at Carlisle chasing Emmett and threatening to burn his Jeep ("NO CARLISLE! PLEASE NO!) i agree and walk towards the Volvo.