Part 20

and so for a while then Cullen household is peaceful and order reigns.

Emmett and Rosalie are made to do ALL the household chores for a month AT HUMAN SPEED. to them, this is torture. and they are banned from driving till "further notice".

i am feeling poorly. after shouting down Alice's remedies of frog spawn soup, chilled tapir livers and broiled iguana tails ("no no! they work! really!"), i sit on the couch watching Emmet scrub the marble floors with a toothbrush. (again, at human speed)

"i hate this. this is so lame. and to think i could be done in 5 minutes using vampire speed."

i sniffle loudly and apply more Mentholatum to my nose. "oh deal with it. gargh similar figures are not as easy as they look." Jasper patiently tries to explain.

i notice Rosalie hasn't been seen all day. upon enquiry, Jasper smirks. "Esme made her scrub out the dustbins. from what i heard, they all have this pink fluffy layer of fungus growing at the bottom...." i chuckle. that sounds way gross.

Emmett suddenly starts singing. he has recently discovered Weird Al's songs on Youtube. he starts singing (more like howling) the song White and Nerdy:

Emmett:

i wanna roll with
the gangsters
but so far they all think
im too white and nerdy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw

i clamp my hands over my ears. i already have a headache and Emmett's singing (howling) just makes it worse.

"Emmett i cannot disagree with the song. you ARE white and nerdy. still, you don't need to let everyone withing 50km radius know that! just shut up okay?"

just then, Rosalie walks into the living room, clutching a glass of Cherryade in her gloved hand. suddenly, she lurches forward and half the Cherryade slops to the newly-polished (with a toothbrush) floor. a look of false horror spreads across her face. "oh no Emmett! you'd better clean that up! Cherryade stains you know!" with that she saunters into the adjoining kitchen.

Emmett scowls and makes a rude hand gesture to Rosalie's back. "!*#$ that Rosalie! marble is so porous, that @#!% drink is sure to leave a stain!"

i think the war isn't over just yet....