Snow White's Happily Ever After

Snow White staggered thorugh the castle, tottering on her six-inch stilettos. "Dah-Ling? I'm *hic* back!" she slurred. Prince Charming rushed out of his Royal Study just in time to see Snow trip and grab a tapestry for support. he took one look at her Gucci halter-top and low-slung jeans, gave a squeak of horror and pulled her towards their bedroom.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Snow White hiccupped, grinning in an idiotic manner. “ ’Ish nothing Dah-Ling! Just clubbing with the boys!” she hiccupped again. Charming smacked his forehead. “I so can’t believe you! I come home and find my Porsche missing and you gone! Do you have any idea how worried I was?! And by the way, did you put in good petrol? ‘Cos I don’t want the cheap stuff clogging up my engine.”

Snow White rolled her kohl-ringed eyes. In an undertone, she murmured, “Worried for the car or me?” Charming spun around. “HEY! I heard that! Of course I was worried about you! Did you get any scratches on the Porsche?”

Snow snarled. “Sometimes *hic* I think you love the car more than ME!”

“Oh yeah? How do you think I feel when you go boozing with those other 7 men?!”

“Hey you’re the one who spent $5000 on a new paint and wax job but bought me a cheap “I Love Ye Olde Kingdom” T-shirt for my birthday!”

“You’re only saying that because those Dwarves bought you a Chanel purse! That’s not fair, they only had to pay ONE SEVENTH of the price each!”

“Oh and like, you the King can’t afford it? Give me a BREAK!” (Snow White was now fully sober)

“Alright that’s IT! I’m filing for a divorce tomorrow! I can’t STAND you!” at this point Charming stormed from the room.

Snow White stood very still. She knew she should never have married Charming. I mean, come on, she’d only known him what, 48 hours? But nobody dumped Snow and got away with it. Oh no, she’d get her own back. She stalked from the room, now on steady feet.

She made her way down to the Royal Car Park. Spying the detestable Porsche, she fished the car keys from her purse…..

What ensued next is a bit like Carrie Underwood’s song, Before He Cheats:

Oh and he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his
Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

See bold lyrics for what Snow White did XD. We can only imagine how Prince Charming reacts.