Beauty and the Beast's Happily Ever After

Belle had been primping for this day for weeks. Slimming treatments five weeks earlier (not that she needed them. Her figure was as it was when she starred in her own Disney movie), nails done the day before and a new highlight job and hair-do at the most expensive hair salon that very day. She applied her Bobbi Brown eye-liner carefully, taking care not to spill any (expensive).

She took out her expensive Tonino Lamborghini perfume and spritzed some on her wrists. She didn’t normally apply it but then, today wasn’t a normal night. It was her best mate Cinderella’s wedding ceremony.

Donning her Chanel LBD (Little Black Dress) and matching peep-toe heels, Belle was stunning to behold. Taking one last look in the full length mirror, she smirked and sauntered out of the bed room, leaving a trail of the cloying fragrance in her wake.

“Beast!” she hollered down the corridor. “We gotta GO!”

“Coming, sweetheart.” Came the husky reply.

Belle’s jaw dropped as Beast’s shaggy frame came into view (No, he hadn’t really changed back to a stunningly gorgeous homo sapien. What, you really believed the movie? That hunk was a stunt double). In an average fairy tale, Beast would have been all decked out and looking hot as a jalapeño pepper. Well, this isn’t a fairy tale. Belle’s jaw was dropping for all the wrong reasons.

Beast was wearing something that would have looked at home in a hawker centre. A faded T-shirt and cut-off jeans. Beast had not even so much tamed his mane. His claws remained razor sharp (had he never heard of a “file”?!) and he smelt strangely of Cheetos.

Belle graoned, “do not tell me you forgot the reception is TODAY!”

“I thought we were going to do an Eat-And-Run!”

“BEAST! This is Cinderella’s second wedding! Her new husband is a MODEL! It’s not Charming anymore! How will I be able to introduce you looking like THIS?!”

“Are you saying you’re ashamed of me?!”

“Well yeah and who can blame me!? You look like CRAP!”

“If that’s the deal then I’m not going!” Beast stormed off to spend the rest of the evening with his Xbox and Cheetos. They were a hell lot easier to understand than women.

Belle began to panic. How could she go without a beau? There was only one thing to do. She reached for her cell phone.

Princess Aurora was in the reception garden chatting to Ariel, who sat with her tail submerged in the fountain. “did you see Belle with that yummy hunk over by the floral dec? Goodness, who knew that Beast would look so good in human form?” Ariel nodded. “Yeah! Wow Disney sure did the movie right. The new beast looks almost exactly like his stunt double…..”